B-B-B-Bird Is The Word...

Anyone else know that song? Anyway…

We have some brilliant and brave ducks that creep onto our lawn twice a day, morning and evening, on their scheduled walks from the nearby river to God-Knows-Where. I always get excited, even though I see them each day! We usually get about 9 of them and I run outside in an insane frenzy with my bread and start showering them in yeasty goodness. My *secret* hope is to tame them. Maybe so they can get my mail for me? Or mow the lawn which I’ve asked my husband to do for the past 3 weeks?

Really Bad Photo Of Ducks

I’ve even begun to recognise them. Bad Boy Brian is the teenage duck who doesn’t give a honk about humans. He will eat out of your butt crack, he’s that brave (I have not tried this). He really doesn’t care if you are looking at his foie gras potential, he is just out to get that bread for himself, other ducks be damned! The Watchtower is an adult male (I think) and he is completely alert at all times. You can blink halfway with one eye, and he can see it instantly from 10 metres away and alert the others to your presence. I have even tried Neil-Armstrong-type moon-walking at the slowest pace possible, but The Watchtower is onto me within half a millisecond. Maybe if I tried Michael-Jackson-type moon-walking? Nervous Nelly is the old biddy who hangs back from the pack and stays further from the house than any of the others. If they are on the lawn, it seems like she is in Bangladesh. She won’t come near me! The rest I call Chokers. Generally they have a mix of The Watchtower and Nelly, but are so flamin’ hungry that they choke down every piece of food in their sight, regardless of if I’m standing over them with a carving knife.

Here's me dressed as a duck for a big parade in Melbourne. It was 39 degrees (103F) and lucky me got heatstroke! I'm NOT pregnant with ducklings here, I just ate a big meal.

The above photo was from the Berry Street float. You can check out their work and donate here.

About these ads